The Matching Process: Questions to Ask & Building a Meaningful Relationship

One of the most exciting moments in the surrogacy journey is the matching process—when intended parents and surrogates come together for the first time to see if they’re the right fit for each other. This initial conversation sets the foundation for a successful and fulfilling partnership, and while it can feel nerve-wracking, it’s also a beautiful step toward bringing a child into the world.

At Await Surrogacy, we guide you through this process with care and transparency, ensuring both parties feel comfortable and confident. Below, we’ll walk you through how the matching process works, what to expect in your first conversation, and how to build a strong relationship with your surrogate or intended parents.

How the Matching Process Works

The journey begins with carefully reviewing profiles. Intended parents and surrogates each complete a detailed questionnaire about their values, expectations, and preferences. Our team takes this information and thoughtfully selects potential matches based on compatibility.

Once a potential match is identified, we schedule an introduction call. This is the first opportunity for everyone to connect, ask questions, and determine if they feel comfortable moving forward together. While it’s an exciting moment, it’s also normal to feel nervous—after all, this is the beginning of an incredibly important relationship!

What to Expect During the First Meeting

At Await Surrogacy, we facilitate the initial conversation to ensure that it flows smoothly and that all important topics are covered. Here’s a general outline of how the meeting will go:

Introductions – We’ll begin by introducing everyone, including the intended parents and the surrogate (and her partner, if she has one).
Sharing Stories – The intended parents will share a little about themselves—who they are, what they do, and why they are pursuing surrogacy. The surrogate will then introduce herself, talk about her family, her pregnancy history, and why she feels called to help another family in this way.
Open Discussion – This is where both parties can ask each other questions, express their hopes for the journey, and discuss expectations.
Termination & Medical Considerations – We will have an open and honest discussion about difficult but necessary topics, including views on pregnancy termination. It’s important that both parties are aligned on these issues before moving forward.
Next Steps – If everyone feels like it’s a good match, we move forward with medical record review by the fertility clinic, medical screenings, legal agreements, and the exciting road ahead with embryo transfer and pregnancy!

Important Questions to Ask

To make the most of your first meeting, here are some essential questions to consider asking:

For Intended Parents to Ask the Surrogate:

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with the family you carry for?
How do you envision communication during the pregnancy? Would you prefer regular updates, or do you want to keep things more casual?
Are you comfortable with us attending doctor’s appointments in person or via Zoom/FaceTime?
What kind of support do you need from us throughout the journey?
How does your family feel about you being a surrogate?

For Surrogates to Ask Intended Parents:

What made you choose surrogacy to grow your family?
What are you most excited about in this journey?
Do you have any specific hopes or traditions you’d like to incorporate into the pregnancy experience?
How would you like to be involved throughout the pregnancy?
What are your thoughts on birth planning? Do you have preferences for being present for the delivery?

Building a Strong Relationship with Your Surrogate or Intended Parents

A successful surrogacy journey relies on open communication, trust, and mutual respect. Here are some ways to cultivate a positive relationship throughout the process:

Be Open & Honest – Transparency is key. Share your feelings, concerns, and excitement with each other.
Show Appreciation – A simple text, small gift, or heartfelt note can go a long way in showing gratitude.
Respect Boundaries – Every person has different comfort levels, so be mindful of personal space and preferences.
Stay Connected – Regular check-ins, video calls, and updates help build a close bond, even from a distance.
Celebrate Milestones Together – Whether it’s the first ultrasound, gender reveal, or baby shower, find ways to make the journey special for everyone involved.

Final Thoughts

The matching process is a crucial step in surrogacy, setting the tone for a beautiful and collaborative journey. While it’s natural to feel nervous, remember that this conversation is just the beginning of something truly special. By asking the right questions, being open-minded, and focusing on building a strong relationship, you’re laying the groundwork for a smooth and rewarding experience.

If you’re ready to begin your surrogacy journey, reach out to us at Await Surrogacy—we’d love to help you find your perfect match!

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