Hospital etiquette: Surrogacy edition!
Your baby is here, now what?
Imagine the delivery day with me, if you will! You’re in the hospital, the smell of your fresh baby has your oxytocin at an all time high, and you’re likely soaking up every moment and hoping time slows down just a little bit so you can write these memories into the hard drive of your brain so they last a lifetime.
But now what? Your baby is here and your two worlds have collided and you might not know how to navigate it. I’m over here, whispering a silent prayer that you haven’t forgotten about the incredible woman next door. That you’re treating her with the same love and kindness you’ve shown her through the entire journey.
There are a few things that you can do for her to continue to show your appreciation of all that she just did for you. Whatever you do during this time, do it with love, adoration, and appreciation.
Food: Offer to grab her and her partner something from Starbucks or Chic-Fil-A so that she doesn’t have to eat the hospital food. If you’ve ever been in a hospital in America, the food is all the same— gross. When you go to get something for you and your partner, think about your surrogate and her partner and offer to grab them something, too.
Gift: Order her a “Push Gift” well before delivery day and have it packed in your hospital bag so you can gift it to her once your baby arrives. You can see ideas of push gifts here.
Visitation: Your precious surrogate just completed her mission and is likely running on fumes from pure exhaustion that labor tends to induce. Follow her lead on how much she would like to see you and your baby during this time. If you aren’t good at reading between the lines, you can ask her how much communication during the hospital stay she would like to have. If you aren’t good at being so straightforward, text Await Surrogacy at 1-864-671-1240 and see if we can help navigate that conversation.
Most of the time the Intended Parents have a separate room from the Gestational Carrier and her family and the baby shares a room with his/her parents (the Intended Parents). If the hospital is small or if the census is high, then there might not be enough room for the Intended Parents to have their own room. In this case, typically one Intended Parent will stay in the same room with the surrogate and the baby or if the surrogate needs some time to herself then the Intended Parents will leave the baby in the nursery for the night. In this case, the Intended Parents should stay in a hotel close to the hospital and plan to leave the hospital late and arrive early so that they can get as much skin to skin time with their newborn baby.
When your attorney sends the Pre Birth Order to the hospital social worker, they should be able to find out these details for you, however, nothing is guaranteed as far as a room goes until the day of delivery as the census can change at any given time.
Be sure to talk with your case worker about how to love your surrogate really well during the hospital stay. We love seeing the relationship bloom and for everything to go exceptionally smooth.
As always, if you have any questions about becoming a surrogate or building your family through surrogacy, please reach out to us. You can fill out the form found here or you can text us at 864-671-1240.